When I was a much younger child I had a semi regular nightmare. I was standing on railroad tracks looking into a tunnel and then all of a sudden a train would appear. I would begin to run but the train would hit me and I would be stuck under the train as it continued on its way. I would wake up screaming with the sensation of being tumbled around underneath the train. I have probably had this dream a dozen or more times in my life. The good news is that I haven’t had this dream since I was 6 or 7 years old. That is until this past weekend.
I woke up late Friday night and Sunday night as I was being dragged underneath a train. It seemed very real. I didn’t wake up screaming this time, but I did wake up in a pool of sweat and completely freaked out as I came to the conclusion that I was at home and in my bed.
I don’t normally have dreams that I remember, and I am not prone to having nightmares either, so it makes me wonder if there is some purpose to these dreams. Maybe I should avoid railroad tracks that lead into tunnels? Maybe I just feel I have no control over a bad situation that is happening in my life? I am not 100% certain, but if this dream is supposed to mean something then I am leaning towards the theory that I currently feel like I am being run over by something that I have no control over, and can’t get out of the way of.
The Adoption process right now is not going as planned and in many ways I feel like ‘the system’ is the train and it is simply going to keep moving forward and will run over anyone that happens to be on the tracks. Now I know that this isn’t really how things are working, I do understand all of the reasons for the complications involved with our Adoption case. Yet, I can’t help but feel this way at times. Soon, I plan to write a much more thorough update about how things are going with the adoption. I may place it simply as a Facebook note so that only friends and family can see it. That way I can spill out more details than I would be comfortable sharing on this blog.
Well, for tonight I look forward to hopefully having a trainless evening.